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There was always something she was hiding from me, though. Something about her family, I could just tell. It made me feel like I was untrustworthy and I hated it. As our relationship progressed, I started feeling less and less secure about myself. I started wearing sweat suits, talking to less people, every day was a gray day for me. But I couldn’t give Jasmine up, I loved her. Our sex life was only worst. Most days, I couldn’t get it up because I was so insecure about my penis. Everything about it. The shape, the size, the color. When I could get it up, the sex just wasn’t good. We only went until Jasmine got off. I hadn’t gotten off through sex in months, I only relied on my hand. I was sitting at the fountain on campus one day, reading Steinbeck. That’s when Kevin showed up. ‘Oh honey, look at you. You look like a confused gym student, transitioning to art student, gone wrong.’ I heard in a soft, lispy voice. I looked up from my book and he was smiling and shaking his head. He was. Little did I know that they were plotting about us.When we got back, Naomi was sent off to fetch a bottle of wine. Sandra sat Maz on the sofa with her and I was left standing like a dummy. I was quite grateful when Sandra finally noticed me, but I felt a bit awkward when she made me sit between them. It was a bit of a tight squeeze and I was conscious of both their bodies squidged up against mine.When Naomi came back, she handed round the drinks and sat on the arm of the sofa next to Sandra, who made some remark about how pretty she was. I knew that it wasn’t directed at me, so I kept silent but watched as Sandra’s hand stroked the length of Naomi’s thigh and made small forays under the hem of her skirt. It seemed almost as if she was marking her territory but, apart from that, I paid her little or no attention. Her eyes were fixed on me and I began to feel slightly awkward, especially when she told Maz that she thought I was pretty as well. I took a large gulp of wine to cover my.
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